Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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