woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
