Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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