I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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