so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Who died my cat blue again?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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