She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
