What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize