Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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