we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
