Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I enjoy the company of your penis
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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