you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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