I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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