Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
