So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
