This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
