Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
