my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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