Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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