fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
