I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
