Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
