Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
