I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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