Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize