yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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