Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
