she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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