I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
