He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
