Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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