My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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