you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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