So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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