Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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