I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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