real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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