are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
