My sheets look like a crime scene.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Who put my cat in the fridge?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize