I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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