I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
