Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
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