I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
