I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
