in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
