I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
