I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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