Soap is not a condiment
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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