If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
