lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
