yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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