yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize