I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
