no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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