Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
