New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
