holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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