Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
