I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
