We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
